Self esteem is nonsense.
There is a degree of self-esteem that is important--self worth: To know that you are worthwhile, that you are a child of God, that you are important, that what you do matters. But the way self esteem is taught these days is that you should love yourself unconditionally. That's nonsense.
We love ourselves conditionally. When we do worthwhile things and act in respectable ways, we can love ourselves. If we are immoral and unproductive, we cannot esteem ourselves with respect and love.
Thus, self-esteem, like all good things in life, has to be earned.
That's a beautiful thing because it opens the door to accountability, discipline, and growth.
In marriage, we cannot expect our spouses to love us unconditionally! We have to continue every day to earn their love, respect and esteem by being our BEST. Being your best includes acting instead of reacting, choosing for values instead of whims and achieving goals with discipline.
This concept was opened up to me this past weekend. I trained for three months to run a relay race which I completed last weekend. My husband was there during the race and as I crossed the finish line. The next few days he couldn't keep his hands off me! He kept saying how proud he was of me and how wonderful he felt watching me run and complete this race. He felt so much love for me and was excited to be my husband. I couldn't believe this side-effect! I had no idea my goal would bring such a reaction from him and it was wonderful!
Now, no one has to go out and do something crazy to light their husband's fire. Simply by doing worthwhile things and being our best we will continue to have our husbands' respect and love--as well as our own!
3 comments:
I remember coming home from school, after a long day of self-esteem lectures, to tell my mother I felt the very same thing you have just expressed! Soapbox time-Sixth grade and they started by trying to mold the way we thought about ourselves! I strongly feel that schools should only teach facts, not opinions, spectulations, or personal beliefs. Students should be able to form their own opinions on subjects without their opinions being formed for them, or have to base an opinion on a bias perspective. The end. ;)
Awesome post!!!
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