Perspective

Today I was running on the treadmill at my awesome gym and I was thinking "oh this is so hard, I wish I were in bed." And then I had a reality check as I watched the cars driving by. I thought, "I'm so grateful I'm at the gym this morning instead of driving to work all by myself while my kids are home with someone else!" When I think of it that way, I can't believe I was complaining about being at the gym, stupid girl! I really love being a full-time mom, and I have my husband to thank for that! For our family, this is the way we want it and this is the way it just has to be.

waiting up

Picture has nothing to do with the post, but I couldn't resist. If you look closely, I have some salad in my teeth!

Here I am at 12:32AM waiting for my husband to come home. What is it about sharing a bed and then not being able to sleep if your bed mate isn't home? Mine is working. (HA HA! This is starting to sound like that Garth Brooks song, "the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes") ANYWAY, my husband really is working, setting up a kiosk at the mall after mall hours you know. My night and my routine just didn't feel complete without my bed mate reading beside me and then putting his book down anytime I want to talk--he's really good about that. Then snuggling, saying prayers, and me drifting off to sleep while he goes back to his book. That's how it always goes and you bet, I'm going to wait up until that happens! Every night, be grateful that you have someone to go to sleep by! And don't go to bed mad. And always snuggle. And definitely say yes if he wants to you-know-what. Even better, why don't you initiate the you-know-what. I just heard his truck pull up, yeah! No more time for you, blog... my Mr.'s home!

C.O.O. of the McGary Family

I went to a leadership retreat and since I was the only non-business person there, my sister helped me come up with a title for myself.

Megan McGary

Chief Operating Officer

The McGary Family

• CEO (Chief Executive Officer) position is held by my husband, that's the big boss--he's the head of our home. He presides over me, since he's the CEO, and we counsel together about our respective duties.
• CFO (Chief Financial Officer) is shared between the two of us. He makes the money and we decide together how to use it!
• I am the COO, chief of the daily operations of our home. I plan schedules and meals, nurture and care for everyone, keep the house comfortable and inviting, make sure everyone's needs are met, and this is my favorite--I have the power to set the mood in our home!

This corporate metaphor sounds really serious, it's not. It's just fun! But it brings up an amazingly important principle to follow in any organization! Businesses and families alike work best when everyone knows their role and does it the best they can. In my experience, harmony is created when husband and wife work together as a team of equals, while respecting each others different stewardships. My husband and I decided early on (even when it wasn't financially "smart" to do so) that we would have clearly stated roles in our marriage and family. I've said it before, my husband makes the living and I make life worth living. We still help each other out, give feedback, and are jointly involved in big decisions, but ultimately we each recognize that the other has a greater capacity for intuition and decision making in their own area. Neither of us are perfect at what we do! In fact, there are many times when I think Kim should be the stay-at-home parent instead of me because he's naturally so good at it! But the greatest thing about this system is we are both stretched and forced to grow. Because I clearly know my role in life, I focus all my talents, knowledge and thoughts toward that. I relate everything I learn to how it affects me in my stewardship as wife, mother and homemaker. (As the C.O.O.!)

Below is my first personal mission statement. (We are working on our family and personal mission statements right now because clearly and specifically defining your purpose is a POWERFUL thing.)

As Chief Operating Officer of the McGary Family, each day I create an environment of excellence in which our family thrives. With passion and love, I provide for the physical, spiritual and emotional needs of my family. I am boldly committed to being a role model of critical values and principles in order to create a firm foundation for my children to stand on.

50 Years! A Tribute to My Grandparents

Last weekend was spent with family to celebrate the 50th anniversary of my grandparents! What a tribute to two people who have earned it!

My grandparents are:

1) A beautiful couple! Their pictures throughout the years look like magazine advertisements!

2) In love! Their smooching annoyed their children, but was an important part of the family's security and happiness at home.

3) Gourmet Chefs! There is always something unique and delicious on the table at their house to this day.

4) Family-oriented! Family dinners, vacations and togetherness were important as they raised their children and consequently the entire family is still close, even though we number over 30.

My grandparents are a wonderful example of a loving, successful marriage and family life. They have created a legacy for their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren!

I consider myself quite lucky to have great examples of how marriage and family life should be!

Officially A Wife for Four Years - Happy Anniversary!

4 years + 2 children + 7 homes + 9 jobs + a gaggilion happy times and a few sad times later... I'm HAPPY to be married to Mr. McGary!

One of my favorite things about our marriage is that we are always working to be better. Since day one, our life has been rapidly moving forward in a tail spin that we're trying to keep up with! I'm grateful to say that we've been consistently moving on to something better in life, even if we didn't understand at the time why it was better. Looking back at where we started 4 years ago, I can't believe where we are today! Our relationship is stronger, our life is fuller, & our hearts and minds have comprehended more than we thought possible. As we're striving to achieve our dreams, we feel like we're already living the dream! I strongly, strongly believe that THIS is what life is all about: working every day to be your best self. We probably won't see the improvement from day to day, but as the months and years go by, I hope we can all look back and see the leaps and bounds we've taken. That is, if we have chosen to take them.

I'm going to brag just for one moment: I have to say that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be married to Mr. McGary! He is my "YES" man! No matter what I ask of him, he will do it. I have no need to nag, beg or demand because for 4 years he has shown me that he will do anything for me! As long as I ask him in a sweet and polite way, and that's not too much to ask!

In four years as a wife I've made A LOT of mistakes! But, as a whole, my marriage is stronger than it was on our wedding day. The daily "woops" we women make as wives are what change us into the best wives if we recognize them and decide what to do differently next time. Here's to us all seeing our progress every anniversary! And here's to being a wife! I'm so thankful I get to be one--I absolutely love it!

Some Confessions and Commitments

I've been more into facebooking than blogging lately. I just realized how this has been hindering my personal growth. Facebook is all, "this is my life... chatter chatter... blah blah." On the other hand, when I read a well-written blog post, about a topic I'm interested in, by a person I admire, that inspires me! I'm on my 3rd project in one week that was inspired by a blogging friend. And each of these projects make me feel empowered and alive, improve myself or my household, and I have fun! I'm repenting... I miss my blogs :(

(I still REALLY like getting in touch with old friends on the book! I'm not ruling FB out all together!)

I also have been watching a TON of Little House on the Prairie lately. It's a super down-to-earth, values-based, good time. But, everything in moderation! I've neglected my books, my personal study and my housework because of that wonderful TV series! My appetite for Pa's life lessons will have to be contained to weekend enjoyment from now on. I VOW TO YOU RIGHT NOW, to only watch Little House on the Prairie on weekend or date nights.

A Multi-Tasking Woman's Best Friend WITH A POST EDIT

This is what my kitchen looked like on an extraordinarily FUN multi-tasking day.

• Baking easy and delicious Whole Wheat Bread
• Making CD's for Abbey and Sam's music class
• Reading my newest Martha Stewart magazine
• and the next day I sewed skirts for Achievement Days

(It was a very domestic couple of days that I happened to LOVE a LOT!!)

I love using a laptop! It increases my multi-tasking capabilities and gives me time to blog, check email, pay bills, etc. If I sit down at the computer desk, I immediately have two adorable children climbing all over me and I have to get right up again, sometimes going days without "checking in" or getting things done. (Because at night I can't waste time on the computer with the man of the house around! I've been missing him all day long.) With a laptop I can be sneaky! It's just sitting on the counter and I walk by and type in www.gmail.com and voila! Kids are still playing and I'm answering very important emails. Plus, I can quickly and efficiently burn CD's and bake bread at the same time!? Now that's a woman's best friend. ;)

Note: this is my husband's laptop so my freedom will be short lived :( Maybe this post will serve as a "hint"

POST EDIT: The laptop is now mine to use at home! Husband is taking the desktop to his office, and I get the laptop to use in the kitchen, the playroom, my bedroom or wherever I deem necessary whilst being a mother! Yeah!

Valentine's Day

My husband has been having a stressful time at work lately. It seems every day he comes home with a new worry or situation. I have been giving tons of advice and answering every problem and telling him what to do! WRONG THING TO DO. This just stressed him out more. He gently let me know that he prefers I just listen and be loving, sweet and tender. Give hugs and remain happy and uplifting, not try to solve the problem and give my opinion. (see previous post)

So I've been staying out of his business life and just being his wife! Besides being sweet and keeping up with my stewardship of heart and home, I decided to do the best thing I could think of... throw a party! Sunday night, we had a Valentine's dinner at our house that was a blast! Let me start by telling you that our entire Valentine weekend was a blast!

Friday: I made glittery valentines with Abbey and "snuggle" blankets for the kids!

Saturday: Massages and our ward's "line dancing" party.

Sunday: My parents came over for breakfast. Pink crepes with strawberries and whipped cream!

For dinner Kim's family came over, the single folks even brought dates. I fixed a homemade meal of Roasted Vegetable Lasagna, Butternut Squash Ravioli, breadsticks (pink, in the shape of lips and hearts), salad and for dessert.... Chocolate Zucchini mini heart cakes with chocolate icing and raspberries. Abigail's glittery valentines made for adorable place settings. We played the "dating game", and all couples in the room were quite compatible :)

Good thing I decided to let Kim make the living, and let me make life worth living!

LOVE this time of year

Husbands need hugs, back rubs, smiles and support. They don't need us to solve their problems. They need a place and person to comfort them while they are solving their own problems. They need love! Women are the sensitive, sweet and tender part of a man's life. I need to remember that this week.

Sorry for the delay in posting! Thank you for everyone who inquired where I'd been, that made me feel good :) The truth is, I've been having more BAD "wife" experiences than GOOD lately and I was thinking "who am I to tell people how to be a good wife?" But in reflecting on the purpose of this blog, I realized, the point is simply to ponder, share and comment on my experiences as a wife--good or bad. Hopefully this will result in helping myself and you--the reader--become better wives so we can live happier lives.

Happy Valentine's Day! My favorite holiday of the year.

Discipline Every Day (that's what it takes)

I was thinking about the quote I put at the top of the page...

Am I following this counsel? This counsel that struck me so powerfully and that I felt was important enough to declare at the TOP of my blog?

What does it mean to take care of my body and mind every day? What does it take and how can I do it?

What would the results be if I dedicated myself to this counsel?

Oh the possibilities!!!

Think about it and set some goals for yourself.

My results would look like this:

and this:

Self Sufficiency

One of the most empowering things in life is to be self-sufficient. As mothers, we rear our children in a way that will produce a self-sufficient teen and adult. We want them to make their own choices and decisions based on the good things we've taught them. We also want them to be physically self-sufficient so they are able to provide for themselves and a future family. The more self sufficient, the better! I want to talk about the physical aspect...

Part of being physically self-sufficient is having savings. Money set aside for an emergency. By doing this we are taking care of ourselves, not letting a mystical credit card or welfare provide for us when we're in need. We can also be available to help others if we choose.

Another part is having an ample supply of food in our homes. Food storage simplifies weekly meal planning and grocery shopping, saves money and allows us to provide for ourselves in the case of any life event. And of course we can be a blessing to others!

My goal is to be as self-sufficient as possible.

I dream of 10 acres with a garden, a green house, fruit trees, a well and a windmill! Aside from that being just gorgeous to live on and FUN, I want to feel the security and confidence that comes from self-sufficiency. We rely so much on others in this day and age--grocery stores, power company, water company, gas station... Wouldn't it feel amazing to not have to rely on others for your sustenance?

With the small resources we have, we're working hard to make this dream a reality for our family. I can't imagine the peace a father would feel knowing his family is taken care of no matter what. As a wife, I understand a portion of that and want to do all I can to make it possible.

Self-sufficiency is one of the greatest principles we can follow in this life. Coming up I've got an awesome book to will help you become more self-sufficient...(this post was going to be about that but I got carried away and now it's too long!) Stay tuned.

All Good Things In Life Have To Be Earned

Self esteem is nonsense.

There is a degree of self-esteem that is important--self worth: To know that you are worthwhile, that you are a child of God, that you are important, that what you do matters. But the way self esteem is taught these days is that you should love yourself unconditionally. That's nonsense.

We love ourselves conditionally. When we do worthwhile things and act in respectable ways, we can love ourselves. If we are immoral and unproductive, we cannot esteem ourselves with respect and love.

Thus, self-esteem, like all good things in life, has to be earned.

That's a beautiful thing because it opens the door to accountability, discipline, and growth.

In marriage, we cannot expect our spouses to love us unconditionally! We have to continue every day to earn their love, respect and esteem by being our BEST. Being your best includes acting instead of reacting, choosing for values instead of whims and achieving goals with discipline.

This concept was opened up to me this past weekend. I trained for three months to run a relay race which I completed last weekend. My husband was there during the race and as I crossed the finish line. The next few days he couldn't keep his hands off me! He kept saying how proud he was of me and how wonderful he felt watching me run and complete this race. He felt so much love for me and was excited to be my husband. I couldn't believe this side-effect! I had no idea my goal would bring such a reaction from him and it was wonderful!

Now, no one has to go out and do something crazy to light their husband's fire. Simply by doing worthwhile things and being our best we will continue to have our husbands' respect and love--as well as our own!